Graduation, yet once more (part 1)

So, after finishing my last final last Tuesday, other than waiting for the commencement, the only real challenge left is to pack everything in a couple of weeks, and some free time to face myself. It's a rather tedious work, especially since I've been asked to move to a small room after finals week. I feel like I'm playing Sokoban, ahaha.

Now I look back at my four years of study, academically I won't say that it's a successful one. I never faced my studies fully. The tempo is overall not fast enough, and I had no intention to zigzag with the official course progress and advance forward. Instead I started to focus on random things. And so the 48-hours-per-day mystery. The by-product turned out to be fine, but recently I started to think about what could have been different if I were to restart my undergraduate studies.

There could be no difference at all. The environment made me into who I am, and if the environment were to repeat again, I might still be doing similar things. It is because of the social difficulty in the first couple of years that I kept things to myself and started learning Japanese in the process. And now I passed JLPT level 1 easily. How sarcastic.

In the core a lot of me has remained more or less the same. Now I want to do something that could serve as a message to my friends, telling them that I'm doing fine. Just as I always did. This is the very reason why I entered the Olympia competition in science in high school. It was not because I want to prove myself of anything, but to say "hello, I'm doing great. How are you guys doing?"

Or probably a lot of differences. There are a lot of things left undone, and I wished I had time to finish them. I wish I could start doing illustration and music composition earlier. I wish I could advance more on my project of creating a high-quality RPG game. I wish I could get to know more about science research before I submerged myself into one of the labs. Things are just starting to get interesting, if only I had a bit more time. Illustration-wise speaking I'm getting better since the end of last November, when I first lifted my pencil and tried to sketch. In half a year I am confident that I could produce good enough illustrations that meet my expectations in my game.

Yeah, if only I could have more time.

Yet time flew through as if there was no friction. Graduation ceremony is coming. The outlet has been cut off, snap, and the light on TV disappeared. I looked at myself in the black screen, having no choice but to move forward.

(to be continued)